Holding On
by kballgetlost
Summary: Takes place after Ep. 11 The Hunting Party. Kate trys to get through to Jack


Kate watched as he walked away from her. She hated that she had hurt him. Sawyer said something to her before he walked away but her mind was focused on Jack. She just wanted him to talk to her. She wanted to apologize over and over again until that blank look on his face went away and he let her back in. She sighed as she leaned down to pick up her backpack. There was no use in just standing here, she could at least fill up her water bottle and maybe see if Sun was tending to the garden.

She winced as pain shot through her wrist as she picked up her backpack. It must have gotten bruised while the others had tied her up. Funny how she didn't even notice until now. Of course now it was throbbing. Great, she thought. Just what I need. She started trudging up the paths to the caves. To Jack. Jack. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She could get some Tylenol from him and maybe, just maybe, get him to talk to her some more in the process.

She reached the clearing and saw him rummaging through some supplies. His face was unreadable, it still held that blank expression though and it was started to scare her. It was like he had shut down all of his emotions. Kate moved a few more steps in before he noticed her. He gave her a quick nod with that expressionless face to acknowledge her presence.

"Jack.." she began. When he said nothing in reply she continued.

"Look I know you're mad at me, but could I just get some Tylenol?"

"I'm not mad at you Kate" Jack said softly not meeting her gaze as he continued to rummage through some medicine.

"What hurts?" he asked still averting his gaze.

" Oh, um, my wrist" she said sheepishly. "I guess it got bruised or something when they were tying me up" Jack visibly stiffened and stopped rummaging through supplies. He let out a slow breath before finally looking up at her.

"Ok" he said slowly before continuing. "Does anything else hurt?"

"No, just the wrist" she replied and offered him a small smile. He didn't return it. Instead he walked over to the medicine cart and grabbed a few things. Kate sighed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Jack didn't seem to want to talk anymore now than he did before. She was brought out of her thoughts by Jack speaking.

"Come here" he said softly indicating the airplane cushions set up as a bench. Kate walked over and sat down on the cushions. Jack joined her shortly and placed some items on the bench before squatting in front of her and taking her hand. Kate was a little surprised at the sudden contact but hid it well.

"Does this hurt?" Jack asked as he started softly pressing at various spots on her wrist.

"No, not too much" she replied. She was having a hard time feeling anything but the warmth and gentleness of his hands. It was a stark contrast to that blank look on his face, so she was trying to revel in it. He was touching her the way he used to look at her. It had been less than a day and she already missed that look.

"Ok, let me know if this hurts." He place his hand on hers so they were palm to palm and pushed gently forward on her wrist. When her wrist was at a right angle to her arm she felt that shooting pain again and winced. Jack immediately stopped applying pressure.

"Yea that one hurt a little bit" she said with a small laugh. Jack let her hand fall gently back into her lap.

"I think its just a mild sprain" he said. "I'll wrap it up with an ace bandage, but you should try not to overexert it too much over the next week"

"So no tree climbing?" she joked as Jack wrapped her wrist.

"Wouldn't be a good idea" he said without any emotion. She had been hoping that would maybe get a little smile out of him. But nothing. Jack finished wrapping her wrist and then handed her about 6 pills in a bag.

"It's just regular Tylenol" he said. "Take two every 4 hours as needed" He sounded like he was quoting directly from the bottle. She tried not to think about the reason he was giving her more pills than she needed for one dose. He didn't do that with anyone. He always insisted that they come back to him if they need more. Or, as the case was with Sawyer, Jack would bring the next dose to him. Kate felt a twinge of hurt as she realized just how much he didn't want to see her.

"Thanks Jack" she said quietly reaching down for her backpack again, forgetting momentarily that she couldn't get the one strap on her shoulder now with the ace bandage on her wrist. Before she could ask Jack for help, he had already lifted the strap and put it over her shoulder. His eyes met hers briefly and she saw the pain in his eyes. Pain from seeing her hurting. But the wall went back up quickly and the blank expression once again took hold of his face.

"Thanks" she whispered, her voice suddenly dry. He nodded before returning to the cart to put the remaining Tylenol away. She watched him for a moment before starting her journey back to the beach. She would hold onto the warmth that radiated from his hands as he had examined her. She would hold on to the gentleness. But most of all, she would hold onto the pain in his eyes. Because the pain meant that a part of him did really care. The blank expression was just a façade. She would hold onto the pain, in hopes that someday soon he would let her back in and she could try to take the pain away.


End file.
